The Kitchen at 33 Apocalypse Ave, Early Friday Morning

"Alenko?"

Kaidan wasn't going to get used to hearing that voice again. Which was probably a good thing - by tomorrow evening, it would be gone again, wiped out everywhere but in recordings, snatches of video.

He kept pouring the coffee. It was a self-defense mechanism. "Morning, Ash," he said.

She dropped her shoulder to the wall and watched him. "You gonna turn around?" she asked. "Because I'm not going to disappear, you know."

"Not yet," Kaidan agreed, but he did turn around. "Sorry. It's just... well, it's weird. I... can't wrap my head around you being here. It doesn't feel real. More like I'm dreaming."

"I had a dream, which was not all a dream. The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars did wander darkling in the eternal space, rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth swung blind and blackening in the moonless air; Morn came, and went and came, and brought no day, and men forgot their passions in the dread of this desolation," she quoted quietly. "You dream about me a lot, LC?"

"I dream about Virmire," Kaidan said softly. "All the time. Not just this week. And I dream about Shepard-- about the Normandy. It's... it's not easy being the only one left behind, Ash."

"The others are still alive, aren't they?" Ashley asked. "Joker, Adams... the aliens..."

"Some of the crew died in the attack," Kaidan said, picking up his mug of coffee. "Everyone else... they're spread out across the galaxy. Joker dropped out of contact. Tali and Wrex went back to their own people. Garrus went back to the Citadel, and then he left for somewhere else. Didn't leave a number. Liara... nobody knows where Liara is." He took a sip of his coffee. "And even then, it's... not the same as the three of us, y'know? Shepard was the thing keeping that crew together."

Ashley took two steps forward and took the coffee out of his hands, then set it down on the table. "When I... died, I thought it was going to be okay," she said. "You and the skipper had each other, you know? You were going to go kick Saren's crazy turian ass and everything was going to be okay."

Kaidan hadn't meant to laugh, but he did. It came out a little twisted, warped. "I was almost past this," he said, "Shepard would stop by to talk a lot... it helped. I could sleep at night again. Stopped thinking all the time about how I got you killed--"

"Hey, hey," Ashley snapped. "You didn't get me killed. I fought to buy you guys time. And I'd do it all over again. It was not your call, it was mine, dammit, don't take it away from me."

"Okay, okay," Kaidan said, holding his hands up. "But if Shepard had gone to back you up instead of me--"

"You'd be the one blown to pieces by a really big-ass bomb," Ashley retorted. "And the Alliance would be a whole lot worse off."

Or maybe Shepard would still be alive, he didn't say. Did think it, though, and going by the look on Ashley's face he almost thought she'd heard it anyway.

"For a tech-head, you're pretty stupid, you know that?" she continued. "It was my choice. It was the right choice. And you damn well know it." She uncrossed her arms. "Now, you owe me a damn hug, Commander."

Kaidan released a loud breath, a hint of chuckle mixed in with the exhale. "I'd almost forget I outrank you," he murmured, and then he slid his arms around her for a firm hug.

It felt good. Too good. For a moment he was on the verge of crying.

He reeled it in.

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