High Light Bar, the Presidium, the Citadel, Saturday Evening

[not_a_whiner]

There was one thing you could always rely on, on the Citadel: life went on, even when invaders had stomped through it just hours ago, whether they be geth or Cerberus. They were still brushing up glass shards and blocking out bullet holes by moving planters around, here at the High Light, but the bar was open.

It wasn't as full as it would've been any other night, but there were still people coming in. Kaidan had to admire the guts of the Citadel's population, if nothing else.

The air was different, though. Until today, the locals had more or less assumed the Reaper War was something to be fought elsewhere, on different planets, well away from their safe haven. They had worried about family and friends back on their home planets, but they had thought themselves safe here.

That had changed. Kaidan could tell as much.

"This place isn't going to be the same," he said to Allie as he sank into a booth.

He wasn't sure whether he was going to be the same. He'd put a bullet in Udina's chest. That was gonna hang over him for a while.

[[ for allie. ]]

Comments

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Probably not," Allie agreed as she slid into the seat across from Kaidan. "Getting smacked in the face with reality changes things."

[not_a_whiner]

"Yeah," Kaidan said. Quietly. He shook his head. "Uh, they won't have TruBlood on hand, so..."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Not a problem. I ate last night and no injuries to heal? I'm good for a while," she replied. "I just need the company."

[not_a_whiner]

"All right."

Kaidan waved over the waiter - a human, for once - and put in a quick order for a beer ("Thessian or local Zakera?" "Uh, don't you have any Cana-- you know, local will be fine.") before sinking further in his seat.

"Damn. I do keep dragging you into things, don't I?"

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"You don't drag me into anything. I'm here because I want to be," Allie said firmly. "So don't even start with that."

[not_a_whiner]

"I know," Kaidan said wryly. "It'd just be nice if I got to invite you over without anyone shooting at us by noon." He sobered. "Not that that's going to be in the cards for anyone from here on in, I think."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Maybe I should just invite you back to the island. Nobody shoots at us there. We'd just wake up as kids. Or with kids. Or any other one of the weird things that happen there. But," she frowned, "You're probably right. That's not going to happen for a while. Do you have any idea about what you're going to do next?"

[not_a_whiner]

"Hackett offered me a position with the Alliance," Kaidan said slowly. Thoughtfully.

He wasn't sure if he'd take it, if there was... well.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

Well that was something. "But? it's not what you want?"

[not_a_whiner]

"What I want..."

The waiter set the beer down in front of him.

"What I want," Kaidan repeated, "Is to serve on board the Normandy again. But that's not up to me."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

Allie wasn't particularly surprised by that answer. "Why not? Can't you ask?"

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan laughed. Sheepishly. "Of course I can ask," he said, "But there's still someone else in that equation."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"As if he's going to say no?" She shook her head. It was so obvious that Shepard cared when they'd crossed paths earlier. "And if he does, he's an idiot and I'll have to kick his ass."

[not_a_whiner]

"It'd be his right to if he did," Kaidan said, shrugging lightly. "I'm going to try, I'm just not counting my chickens, you know? It's been a long couple of years."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"You're right. It has been a long time But you've got a chance. Which is more then a lot of other people get. So take it." At this point Allie had to admit to herself she wasn't sure if she was giving career or relationship advice.

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan'd been thinking about that a lot while he was in the hospital.

Which meant at this point, even he wasn't sure. "I will, I will," he said, with a chuckle, and took a sip of his beer. "Don't want you mad at me."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"A wise decision, which proves once again how smart you are," she teased.

[not_a_whiner]

"Thanks," Kaidan said, his voice dry. "It's... yeah. Today was something."

He wanted to ask her how she was doing, but his brain was stuck on a bad groove.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

His bad groove was obvious, and entirely understandable.

"That's one way of putting it."

Allie paused, considering her next question. "Did you know the Councilor a long time time?"

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan let out a breath. "I first met him when the whole Saren thing went down," he said. "Udina was there to help Shepard argue his case to the Council. He was just an ambassador back then."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"So you've known him a while, probably respected him. And then today happened. Are you going to be okay with that?" Probably not today, but someday?

[not_a_whiner]

"Udina was always an ass," Kaidan had to specify.

Because, well, he was. "But, y'know. I took that shot. I have to live with it. I just hope I made the right call."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"I was there and I was about half a second from taking him out myself," Allie admitted. "More then likely people would have died. I think you made the right call."

[not_a_whiner]

"I know Udina," Kaidan said quietly. "He never would've just stood down. But still, taking a man's life-- it shouldn't be easy. It has to be for the right reasons."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"And those were,"she insisted. "Just the fact that it bothers you, that you consider that. I think it proves you're a good man."